Dear

Dear Baby,
Please stop making mommy want to throw up at work. I promise I will spend tons of time with you when on maternity leave if you do, but sadly if you dont I will have to use up all of my sick leave and then I wont get paid for that time off and I wont be able to sit at home and lovingly look at you and smile, play with you, or any of the other fun stuff i really want to do.

Dear Jax,
Please stop jumping on mommys belly, back, legs, head, pretty much just stop jumping on mommy. Paired with the nausea the constant fear of you running around the corner and jumping on mommy has gotten her restless. Also I am really sorry that I havent been much fun. I have been battling something you will hopefully never encounter. NAUSEA.....And the thought of eating or sometimes the thought of cookin anything in general makes me want to vomit. And no my dear it isnt just you but mommy has adjusted your bedtime by thirty minutes so that she can get some extra snuggle time in there before daddy comes in and wakes her with his loud snoring. Im sorry but I will record Bubble Guppies and we can watch them on Saturday morning at 6AM, and I will be sure to wake daddy as I am sure he wont want to miss one bit.

Dear T.
Please stop snoring. Please stop feeling frisky at 1:30 AM when you know I have to work a full fourteen hour day. Please stop laying all of your body weight on me in the middle of the night, I although you may not believe this am not the $75 pillow that you had to have at the SLEEP NUMBER store. PS when I ask you to wake up in the morning because I need some help getting little one dressed. Please do SO. Dont make me treat you like a child.

Dear work.
Do you think you could go away, but still send me a paycheck? I mean I am not lazy, just exhausted.

Dear clothing,
DO you think you could maybe just hang in there a little while longer I mean tommorow will only be the start of the 8th week. I still have 32 more to go. Please  just fit for another ten weeks, its not to much to ask I promise! I will be good to you, no more weekends stuck in the dryer. No more three day layovers on the couch! Just stay with me please, hang in there. You and I both know that maternity clothes suck, they are big, and fluffy, and you want to kick them out of the closet. SO just fight back a little and stay in the game, and if its not too much to ask please dont rip in public.

Dear stomach,
If you wouldnt mind too terribly please lay flat for a little while longer. You see it has become increasing difficult to button pants around you, and to get them up all together. So just stay in there hidden for another...lets say ten weeks, that should do it. Oh and I know that if you would stop craving potatos of every kind that would probably help. Im just saying!

Dear Cherry Coke
Stop making me want you!

Dear water,
Please make yourself more appealing.

Dear sleep,
 I really miss you!